


My heart stutters for you

by zwatchtowerz (TheSpark)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background Relationships, Canon until season 2 or 3A, Derek has a stutter, Getting Together, M/M, Other characters mentioned - Freeform, Stiles isnt the nogitsune here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 11:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpark/pseuds/zwatchtowerz
Summary: Derek has a stutter since he was a kid, but mannaged to keep it to himslef. Until the bad guy of the week goes after Stiles.





	My heart stutters for you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Benaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benaya/gifts).



> Hi there, this is a small story that I'm not that happy at how it turned. Is based on a prompt made by Benaya_trash on Instagram. You know her rigth? The awesome artist who made beautiful Sterek art on Tumblr and Instagram? You can found it on her [highlight stories on her Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/benaya_trash/) or [ click here to see a screencap](https://i.imgur.com/jww9ztK.jpg)
> 
>  **To benaya_trash/Olga:** I was suppossed to post it on your birthday (I was stalking ryuumw to know when it was XD) but life happened and I didnt finished in time. Happy late birthday and thanks for your awesome art! 
> 
> The underage warning is because Stiles is 17.  
> All the mistakes are mine.

Derek was condemned to be alone for the rest of his life.

Since Derek could remember, he always had that problem to talk. He could struggle to let out some words, to pronounce right some letters. He had a stutter all the time, that was at the worst when he was anxious or with fear. Being born a werewolf it only concealed that existent condition. It depended on him how well he could cover it. His mother always told him it was part of him, like the wolf, and he shouldn’t hide it.

 

Growing up was hard. At first he was homeschooled until he could more or less control his wolf around humans but as soon he was able to go, the bullying started. Derek wasn’t prepared for it, always surrounded by his family love. He punched a kid who said his mom was stupid for having a retarded son. He could take the bullying, but nobody said bad things about his mother and left in one piece.

 

So Derek learned his lesson. The happy cute 6 years old was in the past and by thirteen, nobody remembered his speech problem, instead he was the mean kid than never spoke and lived in the preserve. At home he was the same as always, because his pack loved him the way he was. They helped a lot, his stutter barely recognizable unless there was a very stressful situation.

 

**X**

 

His teenager years were okay if you consider the teen angst mixed with the werewolf development. Derek begged his mother to let him play basketball and he made it into the team. Then he met an annoyingly too-smart pretty girl named Paige and things got better for a while. He was…happy. Until that stupid decision and that Alpha werewolf made him kill her.

Derek’s stutter was back when after a while his mother found him in that cellar, the metallic smell of Paige’s blood still in the air.

“Derek…”, she said calmed.

“I- I did s-s-something. S-s-something t-t-terrible”.

“I know”.

He kept his eyes shut when he felt his mother’s hand on his chin. “M-m-my eyes…they are d-d-different”

“Different but still beautiful, just like the rest of you”

And just like that he didn’t care that much that his eyes were blue, or his words were trembling. Not for a while, anyway.

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

The stutter was back months later.

 

He should know better. He should trust his instincts. He was a wolf after all. Why a hot, older girl…… a woman in her twenties would be interesting in him like that? At that point of his life, Derek was a scrawny teenager, still vulnerable after Paige death, with almost no friends because everyone at school looked at him like they knew what he did. But Kate…. Kate said she didn’t care if he didn’t talk much that she didn’t care why he was reluctant to speak out loud more than a few words at time, that “they could do other things besides talk”.  He thought she loved him the way he was.   

 

Yeah, he should know.

 

It took her less than three months to get all the answers she needed.

“I need to know when I can see you”, Kate said, “What if we want to go out on a date and your family see us? You have to tell me when they are all in the house”. She would touch his arm and call him sweetheart, and Derek would believe her. He told her about the family gathering, without calling it for what it really was, a pack meeting. Derek though he was being smart. She smiled at him and promised a night full of fun.

 

Derek felt the bond with the pack fading away, the pull to howl for a new alpha. He ran, faster than ever, but it was too late. He saw a group of people leaving the house’s surroundings, the blond hair he recognized, the air full of wolfbane and perfume, the flames all around and only two low heartbeats he didn’t recognize. Laura was already there flashing her now red eyes and hugging him. He tried to scream for his mom, his dad, his little sister but the words wouldn’t come out right. Laura just hugged him harder. 

 

In the distance, they could hear sirens. Derek was numb, words forgotten.  He had no idea how one moment he was with Laura, and the other was sitting in front of a deputy, a blanket over his shoulders. His sister took care of everything, no one tried to speak to him after the first four or five hours.

 

The moment they left the station, Laura brought some clothes and snacks with her own money and together they left the state.  Hours later, in the safety of a crappy hotel room miles away from Beacon Hills, Derek told Laura about the woman he was seeing that apparently was an Argent, a hunter. There was silence for an endless moment.

“It wasn’t your fault little bro. It wasn’t. And I’m going to repeat it until you believe it.“

 

He cried for hours, Laura always hugging him.

 

The time passed slowly. At first they were constantly on the run because Derek felt Kate was following them, but after a couple of years of hotels and too small towns, Laura decided they should settle and living the life. Derek turned eighteen and picked up New York as their next home. Laura would say yes to anything he suggested.  

 

**X**

 

The day he felt Laura dying, Derek didn’t even try to speak. He knew how bad he would sound. There was no one to hear him anyway.

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

 

Going back to Beacon Hills wasn’t in their… in his plans. Dammit, it wasn’t easy stop thinking as  “we”. He had to know what happened with her sister. Derek was a hundred percent sure a werewolf killed her because he was still a beta. Unless some twisted God decided he was not worthy of the Alpha power, he should have red eyes by now since the only other option was Peter and a catatonic werewolf wasn’t a better option than a broken werewolf, right? So… there was a werewolf in Beacon Hills and he was about to go back to hell just to kill it.

 

 

**X**

The air in preserve had a hint of his mother perfume after all those years. Maybe was just wishful thinking. Focusing in the new wolf’s scent was difficult when his mind was overloaded with memories.  He followed the trails to two teenagers and listened until he was sure they weren’t a big threat.

 

The new wolf, Scott, was an innocent normal teenager as far as he could tell. It was an unfortunate kid who got bit by his sister’s killer that had no idea what was going on and reeked like fear to the unknown. His friend Stiles on the other hand, seemed smarter and his smell was sweet like candy underneath the expected teen boy scent and a subtle amount of medication. 

 

Derek waited for an opportunity. Laura would tease him, saying he wanted a dramatic entrance but knowing he was rehearsing in his mind what to say and hopping it didn’t show his nerves, speaking after too long.  In the end, it worked out.

“This is private property”

He did his best to look intimidating, years of practice with the scowling face and all. The leather jacket helped with the “bad boy” look. 

It was five minutes later after he tossed the kid his inhaler, when he heard the human say “Dude, that was Derek Hale. You remember, right? He's only like a few years older than us.” Derek allowed himself to smile for a moment, before going back to his normal self.

 

**X**

 

It wasn’t easy, no.  Stiles and Scott got him in trouble almost every time they breathed. Derek fought most of Scott’s decisions, while he threatened and slammed Stiles against doors. He would never mention it to anyone, but Derek respected Stiles since the moment he was willing to cut his arm even if he’d have nightmares for the rest of his life.

 

**X**

Finding out Peter was the Alpha was almost as shocking as seeing Kate again. Because of fucking course, there were Argents involved too. There was blood, death and kidnappings involved. He had to get over It quickly, or he would be dead. Kate was determinate to finish her work, Peter was determinate to get his revenge. Derek would fight them until his last second, not for him but for his family. He ended killing his uncle after he killed Kate.   

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

Derek was an alpha, but he wasn’t a leader the way he was supposed to be. Derek never had the “Alpha lessons” his parents gave to the older kids in the house, the ones that could be an alpha by heritage one day, like Laura. He ended biting a bunch of teenagers, there was conflicts with Scott and his unofficially pack. There were people dying and Gerard Argent was around after Kate’s dead. There was a failed beta that became a giant lizard and two hours paralyzed in a pool, being held by Stiles.

 

Stiles, the defenseless human that somehow was an important person in his life. Derek wasn’t ready to admit it, but he did a stupid thing, turning around to pushed him and getting a poisoned cut in the neck just to kept him safe. He was so scared to drag Stiles down, to kill him unintentionally, that his stutter was there, more pronounced. The water was cold, his clothes were clinging to his body, and that was the perfect excuse to justify why the words left his mouth that way.

 

He tried harder to keep it controlled after that. And by “it” he was thinking on his stutter, not in his feelings for Stiles. Because there were no feelings there.

He tried to push Stiles away as hard as he could, but Stiles always found a way to stay close. 

 

**X**

 

Jackson left for London as a new werewolf after the power of love changed him from his Kanima form. Isaac chose his side with Scott. Lydia was something. Peter found a way to resurrect and was being an asshole as usual. Allison was… he didn’t know what was going on there, and Boyd and Erica ran away.

 

Stiles was still a constant in his life. They spend all summer looking for the runaway betas. Every time Derek asked why he was doing it, Stiles would say “Because this is important for you so is important for me”. Derek’s wolf couldn’t find a lie there. Stiles would go to the loft with a new map almost every day, Derek would pay for pizza and drinks.

 

 

**X**

 

Three months later, Derek was ready to admit Stiles was his friend. They stopped looking for Erica and Boyd and started to hang out just because they could. Derek was still quiet, speaking only when it was needed. Stiles filled the silence for the both of them, always talking over the show they were watching, or explaining why that trilogy sucked but they were important for the universe. Derek let him speak, adding things here and there, making an effort to say every word slowly.

 

“Why did you spent all summer here?”, Derek asked the last weekend before school started again.

“What do you mean? Did you not want me here?”, Stiles scent went from sweet to sour in a second. 

“No! No! Just….” Derek had to breath before keep going, and Stiles was getting nervous waiting for him. He was probably thinking all the wrong things he did to upset Derek. “I though you would spend time with Scott”

Stiles gave him a fake smile. He knew because he memorized all his smiles. “He is busy, but we text sometimes. I get bored quickly, dad is working, and you are here all day. Not that you are a bad option! But you have your own place and we are friends, so I thought…wait, we are friends, right? I’m not imposing myself. I can go if you…”

“Breath. And yeah. We are friends”.

 

Stiles relaxed and they were back to normal.

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

After that, Derek let Stiles in more and more each time. Things in Beacon Hills weren’t exactly great, Derek thought about leaving again, but Stiles would make a joke about the last bad guy and Derek remembered why he was staying.

 

The pack changed too. Boyd and Erica were back, regretting the decision they made. The group had now a recently discovered the Banshee inside Lydia Martin, three humans (Stiles, decided his dad should know after all and Scott’s mother found out with the Kanima incident), werewolves, and they had a Kitsune ally too.

The Yukimuras moved to town asking for permission to the Hale Alpha first. Noshiko Yukimura knowing the old traditions and send a letter explaining her husband had a job in Beacon Hills High School and their daughter would be attending to the school too. Derek felt bad, since the last history teacher died because the supernatural. He accepted they petition without doubting and Kira, the teenager daughter, became part of the pack.

 

Everything was peaceful for a while, just minor problems with a pack of Alphas that one time. Derek was proud of his betas and the way they handled it. His pack was stronger, happier, and that influenced Derek’s mood when he felt the sadness and jealousy overcame him. Because everyone was in some type of relationship. Lydia and her weird long-distance thing with Jackson, Erica and Boyd were still together, and he didn’t want to know what was going on with Isaac, Scott, Allison and Kira.

Hell, even the Sheriff was “hanging out” with Melissa lately. Derek made a face remembering that time he went to Stiles’ house unannounced and got scared for life.

Stiles was the only single besides Derek. He was hoping that would mean something about their relationship. Derek knew he was attractive, he wasn’t an idiot, and Stiles knew it too. But thinking someone was hot wasn’t the same as wanting a relationship. Their friendship was the best thing Derek had in a long time.

 Laura’s voice was in the back of his mind.

_“Take the chance, little brother”_

 

Breathing slowly, Derek was nervous just with saying it. “I- I will, Laur. A-A- After his eighteen birthday, I swear. I…I tell him about my f-f-feelings.”

 

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

Nothing went like Derek planed. As always.

 

Stiles was still seventeen when a Japanese spirit called Nogitsune arrived Beacon Hills following Mrs. Yukimura. They had history together, a history she didn’t want to tell anyone before moving to town.

The spirit took the form of his lasted vessel, a creepy mommy-like guy, as Stiles called him. According to Noshiko, he was looking for a strong new body, someone who was smart but malleable, who didn’t put much resistance to a thousand years old spirit. A human preferably.  The pack was on babysit duty. At least a wolf with each human on the pack. Derek decided he was responsible of Stiles.

 

They were at the loft after watching a movie, Derek set the table for dinner while Stiles took a nap when his wolf went crazy. Something was wrong. He only had time to open a new text to Scott when a voice came from behind him.

“He smells good, right?”

Derek turned around and saw the Nogitsune stroking Stiles’ cheek, the scent of fear overwarming. “Der?”

“Shh boy. The adults are talking”, the Nogitsune said. Wolfing out, Derek approached the devil spirit ready to attack. Laughing, the Nogitsune send him flying across the room with one arm, like Derek’s weight was the same as a feather. “Bad move wolf. Now, where were we?”.

 

The Nogitsune hold Stiles by the arm, making him stand up from his position. He snuffled Stiles neck moaning in the process. It was disgusting and terrified, but Stiles couldn’t move, his eyes fixed on Derek trying to get up after crashing against the wall.  

“Oh I see it now. The human and the wolf. You are nothing compared to him. But if you let me in I can make you the perfect mate for a werewolf. Let me in Stiles, and I won’t kill him”

“Let go of me you monster!”

“Let me in Stiles. _LET. ME. IN_!”

 

**X**

 

Everything in his body hurt. He was pushed against a wall more than once but this time it was more painful, the Nogitsune was much stronger than he thought. He could hear voices in the background, far away. All came back to him at once when he heard a gasp. 

 

  Stiles looked about to pass out or fall asleep, his eyes fighting to stay open while the Nogitsune was over him, one hand on his neck and one over his heart. Derek could hear Stiles’ heartbeat getting slower and he sensed a rotten smell. It was a moment when Derek didn’t care about how his voice could sound. “You can t…t…take me. Leave hi…him and t..take m…m…me” The air was knocked out his lungs with each word. “Oh What do we have here? An imperfect, broken wolf like you isn’t the right match for me. No, not even this human will want you now, alpha or not”.

 

He heard Stiles whispering “It’s okay Der” before passing out and his vision went red. Derek ran fangs out ready to bite the Nogitsune wherever he could reach first, taking it for surprise. The Nogitsune screamed, releasing Stiles in the process, who fell on the floor with a thud.

Apparently an Alpha bite was enough to defeat a thousand years old spirit.

Black smoke flew everywhere around them, making impossible to see for a couple of seconds, or minutes, Derek wasn’t sure how much time passed until the air was clear, and a glowing bee was fluttering over a pile of old gauzes. He looked around until he found a box made of the Nemeton wood that the Yukimuras said should contain the spirit and trapped the bee inside. The Nogitsune could die in there, for all he cared,

 

Derek saw Stiles still on the floor and rushed to his side, cradling his body into his arms. “Breath St..Stiles! I…I c…c…can’t lose you too”.  He didn’t sense anything bad, but he took Stiles pain just in case.

 

“It’s okay Der. I’m okay. I’m okay, you can let me go “. Derek ignored the warm on his heart at the nickname and hugged him harder. “I…I…don’t wa…want to”.  Stiles didn’t complain.

 

The pack found them in the same position one hour later.

 

***_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_***

 

Two weeks. Two freaking weeks passed but Derek couldn’t see Stiles face to face. He was embarrassed, afraid of rejection. The Nogitsune was right, Stiles never would want him in any way more than a friend especially now that he heard him struggling with the words.  He managed pretty well, asking Scott about Stiles and not answering texts and that one call yesterday. He did listen the message he left and wow, Derek didn’t know he could find cute yet threatening that many insults.  

 

Maybe Stiles would give up after that colorful audio.

 

“Open up Derek, I know you are in there”

 

Derek cursed mentally. He knew Stiles, he never give up on something or someone. Putting his best “sowrwolf face” (as Stiles called it, he didn’t see the difference with his every day face), he opened the door. “What do you want Stiles?”

 

He expected a punch at least. What he didn’t expect was being hugged by the teen. “Dude, are you okay? You have no idea how worried I was. Scott told me you needed space but I though…I thought that thing was inside you now and that’s why you were avoiding me”

What? “What?”

Without waiting an invitation, as usual, Stiles closed the door and took Derek’s hand guiding them to the couch. “Seriously, are you okay? You don’t look okay at the moment”  

“I’m...confused. Why are you here?” The _after al_ l unsaid.

“Because I care about you, and I know the Nogitsune sacred the crap out of you”. Derek chucked at the manners.

‘I don’t deserve that’ was what he meant to say. Instead he struggled just with the ‘I don’t’ part. A rush of panic and shame clogged his senses, wide eyes looked at Stiles. He didn’t say anything, just smiled.

“You know, you can be yourself. I don’t care if you need more time, just talk to me”

Taking a deep breath, Derek say in one go “But the Nogitsune said I…”

“You are not broken Derek. Imperfect? Maybe, but I’m not perfect either and you still want me, right?”

Shit. That’s the moment when Stiles rejected him. ‘That’s it’, he thought.  Derek closed his eyes and tried to go away. Hands on his face stopped all his movements. “Hey, look at me”. Stiles voice was fond with a bit of amusement. Derek dared to open his eyes. Bright, almost sparkling whisky colored eyes met him, hands never left his face. “I know what you are thinking and let me tell you something: you don’t need to be ashamed of who you are. Forget all the things that creepy spirit said, I loved you all grumpy and angry, I loved you all soft and worried about Erica and Boyd and I love you even if you can’t yell at me fluently. You deserve the world Der, and I want to give it to you, if you let me “

 

Derek didn’t know when he started crying, but he could feel tears running. Stiles’ heart didn’t change during his speech, and his scent went from worried to adoring. He said he loved him. Stiles, the perfect human loved him, the broken stupid wolf.

Stiles went for a kiss in Derek’s forehead but was meet with an urgent pair of lips on his own. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

Maybe Derek wasn’t condemned to be alone for the rest of his life. Not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, leave a comment or kudos if you liked this small story!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr, Teen Wolf Amino, Dylan O'Brien FanBase Amino and Tyler Hoechlin Fanbase Amino and other paces as zwatchtowerz :)


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